


The 'Tail' of a Puppy and His Princess

by PeneighDzredfohl



Series: Starlight and Firemoon [7]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: A maid and her warg, Cane Corso mastiffs are represented as cute warg puppies, Domestic Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I was inspired by a pin on Pinterest, Other, Pappas can't win against daughters, Polyandry is hinted at, Timeline What Timeline, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeneighDzredfohl/pseuds/PeneighDzredfohl
Summary: When little dwelf Sylvaine, Fili's daughter, finds a puppy...things get really interesting for the Durins
Relationships: None
Series: Starlight and Firemoon [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1188086
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	The 'Tail' of a Puppy and His Princess

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LegolasLovely](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegolasLovely/gifts), [MarigoldVance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarigoldVance/gifts).



> I found the cutest pin on Pinterest and it screamed to me WARG PUPPY!  
> Then I heard the entire conversation between a daughter and Fili on why this was a very bad idea... and how Fili lost.
> 
> I have the pin board with pins that are of the Cane Corso breed of mastiffs. They look terrifying with their ears docked, but like goofy derps with them all floppy. They are perfect for my little princess' puppy.
> 
> To Legolaslovely and Marigoldvance I gift this to you both, for all the wonderful stories you have shared "with me"
> 
> Use liberal amounts of imagination to see a black warg that is a love bucket.
> 
> This all happens many decades after the winning of The Battle of the Five Armies. Nobody dies/ Everyone lives. Polyandry is hinted at with Fili, Kili, and Thorin, all happily wed to Tauriel in domestic bliss. And lots and lots of dwelves.
> 
> You can find the pins here --- https://www.pinterest.com/khrystja/wips-the-hobbit/abrith-the-tail-of-a-puppy-and-his-princess/

* * *

“Look, Pappa, I found a puppy just like Bryonie and Brekkan have in Dale, at their GrandPaPa Bard’s home. Can I keep it? Pleeeeese?”

“Kee…that’s not a puppy, or rather, it’s not a canine puppy.” Fíli's voice was filled with trepidation, watching his tiny daughter handle the, 'puppy'.

“Mahal’s balls, that’s a…” Kíli managed to choke out before Fíli interrupted him.

“Yeah, it is!”

“What do we do, Fíli? There must be a bitch around somewhere.”

“I’ve not seen any prints, the birds and small animals are all noisy, so I don’t know. Dead perhaps?”

“That pup’s awfully small, maybe a runt she behind left after whelping?”

“Uh-uh, no Kíli. It’s not a newborn, but you are right, it’s odd to think it would be so small.

"Sylvaine, you need to put the, uh, ‘puppy’ down. It needs its, um, mamma, _*a warg as a mamma, yeah, right*_ so put it on the ground and come here darling.” Fíli cajoled her.

“Nooooo, Pappa, he’ll die, and he says he has no other mamma but me.”

“What?! The warg just talked to you? No...Never mind, don’t bother answering that, you’re your Mamma’s daughter alright.”

“He says I’m his mamma, he just now told me that, when you said he already has a mamma, he said, ‘No I don’t, I have you to be my mamma.’”

“OK, princess, remember the story about how _your_ Mamma killed the, uh, big, growly, furry monsters when we fought the five-army battle?

“Yeeeaaah.” Sylvaine looked at her Papa with suspicion. Where was he going with this?

“Well, this is what those things looks like as a baby. We can’t have one grow up with us. People will mistake it for a mean one, and will always be trying to not let it be with you.”

“They’ll try to kill him?!”

“*Groaning* I wasn’t going to say that _in front of him_ sweetheart, but yes, that’s what’ll happen.”

“I’ll teach him how to be so very nice Pappa, and I’ll put him in cute dresses…* _I’ll explain later, little puppy*…_ So he won’t look at all mean or scary! Plus, everyone will know him from a baby so they just can’t be scared. And, and, I’ll…I’ll do anything for him Pappa!!”

“Alright, here’s the deal, we’re going to bespeak your Mamma and Pappa Thorin, if we get a yes from both of them _…*Mahal help me, I can’t believe I’m saying this…*_ Then we can give it a try with the puppy. This is the fairest choice I can give you, _Gehyith (_ Little Dove _)._ Have we got a deal?"

Sylvaine was crying while the muddy puppy was licking her face. “Yes Pappa, I guess so.” She said in a tiny voice, “If they say no though, I’ll have to live out here with him, ‘cause I won’t let him die. He’s simply too little, Pappa, to be all on his own. I’m going to have to teach him everything…So, I’ll have to find a cave or something.”

“That, ‘or something,’ sounds like you’ve just been had, Fee!” Kíli chortled at his big brother’s conundrum.

“Fiiieeene!” He said while pinching the bridge of his nose as he drew out the word in mild frustration at having his little maid out finagle him…again. “We won’t ask your Mamma or Pappa Thorin, and... we'll just freak everyone out. They can then blame it all on me being a sap for my daughter!”

Sylvaine squealed with a joy that can only melt a Pappa’s heart, the puppy joined her in celebration with plenty of barking and howling of his own.

“ _ELO_! Thank you soooo much, Pappa! I’ll be the best Mamma to him that he’ll ever have!”

“You’re going to have to give him a name, _Gehyith_. It should be something that's very cute or funny, and not dangerous sounding at all. Something people will look at the size of him as a warg grown and hear his funny name, then not be so scared of him; that'll help a lot.

Aaand, young maid, you'll need to find out how to help him learn how to go potty in a way that's not all over the floors of our hall; Wynn and Meggy may technically be our servants, but we don’t treat them that way. I know they'll be rather cross with you when that happens, if you don’t clean it up.

They also… Oh, _Kakhf!”_ Fíli cussed as he thought about the new problem they would be facing.

“Kee, we have to figure out what to feed him, and how much, and just, well, everything!”

“How about we invite Bard and the kids up to the mountain, then pump them for information? Most Men don’t know what a warg looks like, so we may be able to pass him off as a mixed breed or something.”

“At this point, I’m willing to do anything.

Ok Princess, we need to get the two of you home for a good scrubbing. That mud’s dried and caked on everything.

~~*~~

Later that evening

“Well, hello Bard, wasn’t expecting to see you up here with the troops!”

“Good to see you too, Thorin!” Bard laughed easily “The girls seem to somehow have me stretched out enough that I fit on all their little fingers. I can’t say no! When they came over to get Nazir here, to meet with what they say is a new puppy one of your maids rescued, I was curious about the story. And here we are.”

At the mention of his name, the little dog stood up on his hind legs and walked a bit like a Man. Thorin and Bard chuckled at the trick.

“What those girls won’t teach him, and what he’s willing to shamelessly do for treats!” As Bard slips a small morsel to Nazir.

Thorin bent down and gave the tiny terrier a quick scratch behind his ears, which was greeted with great enthusiasm by said, Nazir.

“I’ve got way more maids in my life than you, and I still have no clue what makes them so wily I can’t refuse them. Tauriel says it’s a survival instinct…for the males! We can’t help but not crumble at those innocent looks. And if we don’t, all hell would break loose!”

Bard laughed heartily at that. “Well, let’s go meet this mystery pup of yours.”

“Actually, we have him outside the mountain at the moment. It’s good for him to get fresh air and Sylvaine’s trying to, “house train” him. She said it was something in the note the raven brought back from your girls; that she needs to do to this keep our floors clean."

“Ahh, yes. My best advice, accidents happen, have plenty of old clothes that smell like Silvana, so he’ll associate that with comfort. And above all, always look where you put your feet! Unless, you like warm poop squishing between your toes on the way to the bathroom at midnight! One learns rather quickly after that happens more than once.”

*Facepalm* “I’m living for an eternity, with this!” He chuckled morosely.

Bard and Thorin walk to the hills near the mountain, they can hear playful barking along with children laughing and squealing.

“I think I hear my womenfolk already. Those squeals will get you every time. I go through more of Tauriel’s ‘Hangover Tea’ because of those squeals, than I do from getting an actual hangover! And the headache with a hangover, is much easier to deal with.” He laughed.

He shot his arm in front of Thorin, startling him into almost tripping.

“Bard, what’s wrong?!”

“Please, tell me… That. Is. Not. A….”

“Oh, yes, my friend, it is, or rather he is… a warg puppy. Is it really that noticeable? We were hoping Men would not pick up on his breeding. Trying to pass him off as a hybrid of something or another.”

“I’ve killed too many wargs, Thorin, to not recognize one, even as a puppy.

It sounds ridiculous calling that thing a puppy!

Although, now that we’re closer, with his ears floppy like that and a tail that’s way too long for his little body, he is actually kind of…uh, well, not ugly, at any rate.” Bard struggled to find something to compliment the warg.

“Please, don’t say that in from of the dwelves! Sweet Mahal but they already worship Abrith, like the sun and moon rise and set at his command. And, _he,_ eats it right up. It also seems that all the dwelves have a form of mind speech with animals. Kíliel said Milton gave it to them when they took Abrith to the pony stables meet his new “brother.”

Bard made a loud snort as he exclaimed, “Brother? I bet that went over well! From whose point of view, Milton the pony or the puppy?”

Thorin was chuckling outright as he replayed the earlier conversation to Bard.

“Milton commanded Sylvaine to immediate rub the pup in Milton’s fresh, warm, steaming, droppings, 'to hide the stench of warg'.” Thorin shook his head in disbelief, the same as Bard was doing. “Or else…I never found what the out the, ‘or else,’ was, because the children thought that was so funny.

I believe Abrith was then rather snarky to Milton for the unwanted ‘bath’ and tried to nip his heels. Lead stallion that he is of our little herd, (or horde if you want to call us that) put that pup at the bottom of the pecking order post haste.”

“What does, ‘AAH-breeth,’ is that how you say it, Abrith, mean?”

“Yes, that’s correct, very good, Bard.”

“It’s meaning is Khuzdul?”

“Yes, it is. When Fíli made the deal with Sylvaine, he said she had to give him a name that would make him seem silly, or not at all that scary. So, Abrith means “Little Cracker.” It's a nickname we give toddlers, what with the size this warg is going to get, “Little Cracker” will most certainly sound funny!”

“I couldn’t agree more. We'd say something like, cutie pie.”

As Bard and Thorin join the other adults from Dale, and Thorin's family, he was greeted by Abrith. In mind speech he begged for a nice scratch.

"It seems that Abrith is willing to share the mind speech, that'll be handy; startling, but still handy."

Nazir wanted in on the action of scratching. To be in the thick of it, he pushed Abrith over. Abrith thinking this was a game, was barking playfully at Nazir.

Sylvaine came over as quick as she could, to gently correct her puppy on his manners. Once Abrith was suitable repentant and lying quietly next to a rather snooty Nazir, everyone began chatting again.

“I’m so glad you decided to come as well Bard. I’m in way over my head this time.”

“Just this time, Fee?” Kíli laughed

“Stuff it, Kíli!” He joked back, with and accompanying jab to the arm, that had Kíli immediately rubbing the sore muscle

“Well, at least _I_ can say no to the maids.” He groused back sullenly (but with the sly ‘Kíli’ grin)

“Yeah, and then you give in to them as soon as they hit you with puppy dog eyes that look exactly like yours. Sweet justice, I’d say.” Thorin remark.

“Well, at least until they're striplings and they become brats like we were.”

Thorin moaned to no one in particular but with all the males there; they knew exactly what he meant.

“Alright, Sylvaine," Bard said,"introduce me to this, ‘Little Cracker’ of yours. Listen in Fíli, and I’ll have my girls run through the basics, as well as anything I may need to add. We’ll have you all set up and ready to be warg, er, puppy, parents in no time.

1 year later

Sylvaine was riding her “puppy” through the mountain with a bunch of other dwelves astride him. Abrith could usually carry about a dozen littles, or 6 of the older children; and, if he was of a mind to, two or three adults.

The folk of the mountain were now so used to seeing a tiny dwelfling maid astride the huge creature, it caused no alarm among them. Any strangers were quickly calmed as well. Add to that, the fact that he had been dyed with a wide white stripe from nose to tail tip, to look like a skunk, was indeed rather comical.

With a name like _Abrith,_ and all the drool though, along with the fact that oatmeal raisin cookies (which happened to be Sylvaine’s mostest favoritest, and were often snuck to him as treats) gave the puppy some mighty rank wind, that had everyone running; he really was rather...not ugly.

But, no one ever wondered if this warg puppy wasn’t the happiest one on Middle Earth!

Because he sure was!

**Author's Note:**

> Pin board to find pics --- https://www.pinterest.com/khrystja/wips-the-hobbit/abrith-the-tail-of-a-puppy-and-his-princess/
> 
> As ever always, comments, kudos...the air I need to breathe


End file.
